Can I be honest? I love Venesia so much, but being thrown into raising a child when they're 14 is rough. We are so glad she is here. I cannot express to you how much we wanted to do this, to have her here, but we are all still learning. I've never been any type of parent before, I'm not HER parent, and it's hard to JUST START PARENTING when just one day before that you weren't a "parent." We're growing together now, which is hard. We've had to crack down on her for homework, deal with her emotional reactions to those consquences, and hold her when she's upset and just needs to be loved on. I've cried in my car on the way to or from work I don't know how many times so that I wasn't doing it at home, I've confided in coworkers and friends, and I've been angry. We're growing though.
While it's hard, I'm having fun with her quirks, her weird accents that she practices for her theatre class, movie nights, talking about boys, and eating pizza in front of the TV because the Royals were about to win the World Series. I'm only a month in and I know that taking care of this child has already changed me in so many ways to make me better - a better parent (for her and my future biological children), a better teacher, a better human. I try to savor these happy moments because I know I am destined to worry about her every second of every day for the rest of my existence now. I also know that things will be harder (and easier) than they are on this day.
I am not Venesia's mother, nor will I ever be her mother. I love her though, and we're growing together.
You have always been one of the strongest, most dedicated people I know so it comes as no surprise to me that you have chosen to take this on. I hope that you can always look to the good and see the positives that are coming out of this experience. I'm sure Venesia appreciates you more than ever, and that's what really matters.
ReplyDeleteLoving being able to keep up with you and feel like I'm involved through your blog. Keep 'em comming!